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Ανέκδοτο: Ο Τοτός ο ο μπακάλης και ο… βατραχάνθρωπος. Επικό γέλιο

Published

2 έτη ago

on

2 Ιανουαρίου, 2020

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anekdoto o totos o o bakalis ke o vatrachanthropos epiko gelio

Έχουν έρθει οι απόκριες και όλοι ντύνονται για να πάνε σε διάφορα μασκέ πάρτυ. Ένας απο αυτούς που ετοιμάζονται είναι και ο πατέρας του Τοτού! Έλα όμως που δεν έχει στολή! Σκέφτεται απο εδώ, σκέφτεται απο εκεί, ξύνει την καρκάλα του και τελικά αποφασίζει και λέει στον Τοτό!

-Τοτέ πήγαινε να μου φέρεις ένα μεγάλο αμπελόφυλλο από το μπακάλη επειδή θα ντυθώ Αδάμ τιs απόκριες.

Πάει ο Τοτός στο μπακάλη και του ζητάει ένα μεγάλο αμπελόφυλλο.

-Το πάει στον πατέρα του το δοκιμάζει, αλλά δεν του κάνει.

Πάει ο Τοτός στον μπακάλη και του ζητάει ένα μεγαλύτερο.

Του δίνει ο μπακάλης το μεγαλύτερο που είχε.

-Το δοκιμάζει ο πατέρας του, δεν του κάνει.

Ξανά πάει ο Τοτός στο μπακάλη και του ζητάει ακόμη μεγαλύτερο.

Αγανακτισμένος ο μπακάλης του λέει.

-Πες του πατέρα σου έτσι και την έχει τόσο μεγάλη να βάλει τ΄αρχ***α στην πλάτη και την που**α στο στόμα και να κάνει το βατραχάνθρωπο.

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13px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li a:after{border-color:#000 transparent transparent transparent;border-style:none;border-width:medium;content:'';position:relative;top:auto;right:auto}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children a:after{border-style:solid;border-width:3px 3px 0 3px;content:'';position:absolute;top:23px;right:6px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children a{padding:18px 17px 18px 12px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children:hover a{padding:18px 17px 13px 12px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;backface-visibility:hidden;background:#fff;-webkit-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-moz-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-ms-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-o-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);position:absolute;top:50px;left:0;max-width:200px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;text-align:left;-webkit-transition:opacity .2s;-moz-transition:opacity .2s;-ms-transition:opacity .2s;-o-transition:opacity .2s;transition:opacity .2s;-webkit-transform:translateY(-999px);-moz-transform:translateY(-999px);-ms-transform:translateY(-999px);-o-transform:translateY(-999px);transform:translateY(-999px);width:auto;height:0;z-index:1}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu{opacity:1;overflow:visible;-webkit-transform:translateY(0);-moz-transform:translateY(0);-ms-transform:translateY(0);-o-transform:translateY(0);transform:translateY(0);height:auto}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li{display:block;float:left;position:relative;width:100%}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li a{background:#fff;border-top:1px solid rgba(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom:none;color:#000!important;float:left;font-size:13px;font-weight:500;line-height:1.1;padding:12px 20px!important;text-transform:none;width:160px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li a:hover{background:rgba(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom:none;padding:12px 20px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu ul.sub-menu li ul,.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li ul{display:none;position:absolute;top:0;left:200px;z-index:10}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu ul.sub-menu li:hover ul,.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li:hover ul{display:block}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a{position:relative}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a:after{border-color:transparent transparent transparent #444!important;border-style:solid;border-width:3px 0 3px 3px;content:'';position:absolute;top:14px;right:10px}#mvp-fly-wrap{overflow:hidden;position:fixed;top:0;bottom:0;left:0;-webkit-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-moz-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-ms-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-o-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);width:370px;height:100%;z-index:999999}.mvp-fly-but-wrap,.mvp-search-but-wrap{cursor:pointer;width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap{height:20px}#mvp-fly-wrap .mvp-fly-but-wrap{margin:15px 0}.mvp-nav-top-left .mvp-fly-but-wrap{display:none;margin-top:-10px;opacity:0;position:absolute;top:50%;left:0;height:20px}.mvp-nav-bot-left{margin:15px 0;height:20px}.mvp-search-but-wrap{position:absolute;top:60px;right:80px;width:60px;height:60px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span,.mvp-search-but-wrap span{-webkit-border-radius:2px;-moz-border-radius:2px;-ms-border-radius:2px;-o-border-radius:2px;border-radius:2px;display:block;position:absolute;left:0;-webkit-transform:rotate(0deg);-moz-transform:rotate(0deg);-ms-transform:rotate(0deg);-o-transform:rotate(0deg);transform:rotate(0deg);-webkit-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-moz-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-ms-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-o-transition:.25s ease-in-out;transition:.25s ease-in-out;height:3px}.mvp-nav-top-left .mvp-fly-but-wrap{opacity:1}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(1){top:0;width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(2),.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(3){top:8px;width:24px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(4){top:16px;width:18px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(1),.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(4){top:.5px;left:50%;width:0%}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(2),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(1){-webkit-transform:rotate(45deg);-moz-transform:rotate(45deg);-ms-transform:rotate(45deg);-o-transform:rotate(45deg);transform:rotate(45deg);width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(3),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(2){-webkit-transform:rotate(-45deg);-moz-transform:rotate(-45deg);-ms-transform:rotate(-45deg);-o-transform:rotate(-45deg);transform:rotate(-45deg);width:30px}.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(1),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(2){width:60px}#mvp-fly-menu-top{width:100%;height:50px}.mvp-fly-top-out{margin-right:-100px;left:50px;width:100%}.mvp-fly-top-in{margin-right:100px}#mvp-fly-logo{margin:10px 6.25%;text-align:center;width:87.5%;height:30px}#mvp-fly-logo img{line-height:0;height:100%}.mvp-fly-but-menu{float:left;margin-left:15px;position:relative}.mvp-fly-top{background:rgba(0,0,0,.3);border-top:1px solid #fff;border-left:1px solid #fff;border-bottom:1px solid #fff;color:#fff;cursor:pointer;opacity:1;overflow:hidden;position:fixed;right:0;top:50%;-webkit-transition:all .3s;transition:all .3s;-webkit-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-moz-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-ms-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-o-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);width:50px;height:50px;z-index:9999}.mvp-fly-top:hover{color:#000}.mvp-fly-top i{font-size:40px;line-height:100%;position:absolute;top:1px;left:12.1px}#mvp-fly-menu-wrap{overflow:hidden;position:absolute;top:50px;left:0;width:100%;height:100%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;backface-visibility:hidden;margin:20px 5.40540540541% 0;overflow:hidden;position:absolute!important;width:89.1891891892%;max-height:65%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul{float:left;position:relative;width:100%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li{border-top:1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.1);cursor:pointer;float:left;position:relative;width:100%;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:rgba(0,0,0,0)}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li:first-child{border-top:none;margin-top:-14px}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li ul li:first-child{margin-top:0}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li a{color:#fff;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:1;padding:14px 0;text-transform:uppercase}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children:after{content:'+';font-family:'Open Sans',sans-serif;font-size:32px;font-weight:700;position:absolute;right:0;top:7px}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu{border-top:1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.1);display:none;float:left;padding-left:6.66666666666%;width:93.333333333%}.mvp-fly-fade{background:#000;cursor:pointer;opacity:0;width:100%;position:fixed;top:0;left:0;z-index:99999}#mvp-fly-soc-wrap{margin:0 5.40540540541%;position:absolute;bottom:20px;left:0;text-align:center;width:89.1891891892%}span.mvp-fly-soc-head{display:inline-block;font-size:.7rem;font-weight:400;line-height:1;margin-bottom:15px;text-transform:uppercase}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list{text-align:center;width:100%}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li{display:inline-block}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li a{background:rgba(255,255,255,.15);-webkit-border-radius:50%;-moz-border-radius:50%;-ms-border-radius:50%;-o-border-radius:50%;border-radius:50%;color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:14px;line-height:1;margin-left:2px;padding-top:9px;text-align:center;width:32px;height:23px}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li:first-child a{margin-left:0}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li a:hover{font-size:16px;padding-top:8px;height:24px}#mvp-feat1-wrap{background:#fff;margin-bottom:60px;width:100%}.mvp-cat-date-wrap{margin-bottom:7px;width:100%}span.mvp-cd-cat,span.mvp-cd-date{color:#777;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:.7rem;line-height:1}span.mvp-cd-cat{font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase}span.mvp-cd-date{font-weight:400;margin-left:5px}span.mvp-cd-date:before{content:"/";margin-right:5px}.mvp-feat1-list-cont:hover .mvp-feat1-list-text h2{opacity:.6}.mvp-feat1-list-wrap,.mvp-feat1-list,.mvp-feat1-list-head-wrap,ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts{width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-head-wrap{margin-bottom:15px}ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts{text-align:center}ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts li{display:inline-block}span.mvp-feat1-list-but{color:#aaa;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;font-size:1.1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;text-transform:uppercase;-webkit-transform:skewX(-15deg);-moz-transform:skewX(-15deg);-ms-transform:skewX(-15deg);-o-transform:skewX(-15deg);transform:skewX(-15deg)}span.mvp-feat1-list-but:hover{color:#000}.mvp-feat1-list-cont{margin-top:15px;width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list a:first-child .mvp-feat1-list-cont{margin-top:0}.mvp-feat1-list-out{float:right;margin-left:-95px;width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-in{margin-left:95px}.mvp-feat1-list-img{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;background:#000;line-height:0;margin-right:15px;overflow:hidden;width:80px}.mvp-feat1-list-cont:hover .mvp-feat1-list-img img{opacity:.8}.mvp-feat1-list-text{width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-text h2{color:#222;float:left;font-size:1rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1.2;width:100%}#mvp-feat2-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-feat2-wrap{margin-bottom:60px}#mvp-feat3-wrap{margin-bottom:60px;width:100%}#mvp-feat4-wrap{background:#000;margin-bottom:100px;max-height:432px;width:100%}#mvp-feat5-wrap{margin:0 0 60px;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-wrap{background:#000;margin:0 0 60px;overflow:hidden;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-main{width:100%}#mvp-feat6-img{line-height:0;width:66.666666%}#mvp-feat6-img:after{content:'';background-image:-moz-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-ms-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-o-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-webkit-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-webkit-gradient(linear,middle right,middle left,from(rgba(0,0,0,0)),to(rgba(0,0,0,1)));background-image:linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);position:absolute;left:0;top:0;width:50%;height:100%}#mvp-feat6-main:hover #mvp-feat6-img img{opacity:.8}#mvp-feat6-text{position:absolute;left:50px;top:50px;width:45%}#mvp-feat6-text h2{color:#fff;float:left;font-size:3.5rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-text p{color:#fff;float:left;font-size:1.15rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.4;margin-top:20px;width:100%}#mvp-main-body-wrap{background:#fff;padding-bottom:60px;width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap{margin-bottom:60px}.mvp-widget-home-head{float:left;position:relative;width:100%}h4.mvp-widget-home-title{float:left;margin-bottom:20px;position:relative;text-align:center;width:100%}h4.mvp-widget-home-title:before{content:'';background:#555;display:inline-block;position:absolute;left:0;bottom:50%;width:100%;height:1px;z-index:0}span.mvp-widget-home-title{color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:1.1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;position:relative;text-transform:uppercase;transform:skewX(-15deg);z-index:1}#mvp-side-wrap{font-size:.9rem;margin-left:60px;width:320px}.mvp-side-widget{float:left;margin-top:30px;width:100%}.mvp-side-widget:first-child{margin-top:0}.mvp-widget-tab-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:first-child .mvp-flex-col,#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:nth-child(2n+3) .mvp-flex-col{margin-left:0}#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:first-child .mvp-flex-col-noad,#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:nth-child(3n+4) .mvp-flex-col-noad{margin-left:0!important}#wp-calendar{width:100%}#wp-calendar caption{text-align:right;color:#333;font-size:12px;margin-bottom:15px}#wp-calendar thead{font-size:10px}#wp-calendar thead th{padding-bottom:10px}#wp-calendar tbody{color:#aaa}#wp-calendar tbody td{background:#f5f5f5;border:1px solid #fff;text-align:center;padding:8px}#wp-calendar tbody td:hover{background:#fff}#wp-calendar tfoot #next{font-size:10px;text-transform:uppercase;text-align:right}#wp-calendar tfoot #prev{font-size:10px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-top:10px}#mvp-side-wrap #searchform input,#mvp-home-widget-wrap #searchform input{background:#fff;border:1px solid #ddd;-webkit-border-radius:3px;-moz-border-radius:3px;-ms-border-radius:3px;-o-border-radius:3px;border-radius:3px;color:#999;font-size:16px;padding:5px 5%;height:16px;width:88%}#mvp-article-wrap,#mvp-article-cont{width:100%}#mvp-article-wrap{float:left;position:relative}#mvp-post-main{margin:10px 0 60px;width:100%}#mvp-post-head{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}h3.mvp-post-cat{margin-bottom:10px;width:100%}span.mvp-post-cat{color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;text-transform:uppercase;-webkit-transform:skewX(-15deg);-moz-transform:skewX(-15deg);-ms-transform:skewX(-15deg);-o-transform:skewX(-15deg);transform:skewX(-15deg)}h1.mvp-post-title{color:#000;font-family:'Oswald',sans-serif;font-size:3.5rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1.1;margin-right:20%;width:80%}#mvp-post-content h1.mvp-post-title{font-size:2.9rem;margin-right:0;width:100%}.mvp-author-info-wrap{width:100%}.mvp-author-info-wrap{margin-top:12px}#mvp-content-wrap .mvp-author-info-wrap{margin:0 0 20px}.mvp-author-info-thumb{line-height:0;width:46px}.mvp-author-info-thumb img{border:2px solid #ddd;-webkit-border-radius:50%;-moz-border-radius:50%;-ms-border-radius:50%;-o-border-radius:50%;border-radius:50%;overflow:hidden}.mvp-author-info-text{color:#999;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:1;margin:8px 0 0 15px}.mvp-author-info-text p{display:inline-block}.mvp-author-info-text a{color:#000!important;font-weight:700}.mvp-author-info-text a:hover{opacity:.6}.mvp-post-date{font-weight:500}.mvp-author-info-name{clear:both;margin-top:5px}.mvp-post-main-out{margin-right:-380px;width:100%}.mvp-post-main-in{margin-right:380px}#mvp-post-content{font-family:'Roboto',sans-serif;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-img{line-height:0;margin-bottom:30px;text-align:center;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide{background:#000;margin-bottom:30px;overflow:hidden;width:100%;max-height:720px}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide #mvp-post-feat-img{margin-bottom:0}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide #mvp-post-feat-img img{opacity:.4;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-text-wrap{position:absolute;left:0;bottom:30%;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed-wrap{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed-cont{width:100%}#mvp-video-embed{overflow:hidden;padding-bottom:56.25%;position:relative;text-align:center;width:100%;height:0}#mvp-video-embed-wrap{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed iframe,#mvp-video-embed 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