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Ανέκδοτο: Δυο γείτονες ματάκηδες μαλώνουν για το ποιος….. Επικό γέλιο

Published

2 έτη ago

on

29 Δεκεμβρίου, 2019

By

anekdoto dyo gitones matakides malonoun gia to pios epiko gelio

Θα λιώσετε στο γέλιο με αυτό το ανέκδοτο

Είναι δύο γείτονες ματάκηδες και καθημερινά τσακώνονται και κάνουν κόντρες για το ποιος έχει τα πιο καλά κιάλια. Βλέπετε η γειτονιά είναι μεγάλη και μένουν πολλές φοιτήτριες οι οποίες το μόνο που κάνουν είναι να κολάζουν τους άμοιρους τους άντρες.
Λέει λοιπόν ο πρώτος γείτονας με πολύ μπλαζέ ύφος:

«Τα δικά μου κιάλια είναι άπαιχτα. Να σκεφτείς ότι προχθές το βράδυ είδα από το μπαλκόνι μου μέσα την κρεβατοκάμαρά σου, που είναι πάνω από 600 μέτρα.»

«Μπα, και τι είδες;»

«Είδα ότι το έκανες με μια γκομενίτσα, ζωηρούλη!»

Και του απαντάει ο άλλος:

«Κακομοίρη μου, αν τα κιάλια σου ήταν τόσο καλά όσο τα δικά μου, τότε θα έβλεπες πως η γκομενίτσα αυτή, ήταν η γυναίκα σου!»

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13px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li a:after{border-color:#000 transparent transparent transparent;border-style:none;border-width:medium;content:'';position:relative;top:auto;right:auto}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children a:after{border-style:solid;border-width:3px 3px 0 3px;content:'';position:absolute;top:23px;right:6px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children a{padding:18px 17px 18px 12px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children:hover a{padding:18px 17px 13px 12px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;backface-visibility:hidden;background:#fff;-webkit-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-moz-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-ms-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);-o-box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);box-shadow:0 10px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);position:absolute;top:50px;left:0;max-width:200px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;text-align:left;-webkit-transition:opacity .2s;-moz-transition:opacity .2s;-ms-transition:opacity .2s;-o-transition:opacity .2s;transition:opacity .2s;-webkit-transform:translateY(-999px);-moz-transform:translateY(-999px);-ms-transform:translateY(-999px);-o-transform:translateY(-999px);transform:translateY(-999px);width:auto;height:0;z-index:1}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu{opacity:1;overflow:visible;-webkit-transform:translateY(0);-moz-transform:translateY(0);-ms-transform:translateY(0);-o-transform:translateY(0);transform:translateY(0);height:auto}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li{display:block;float:left;position:relative;width:100%}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li a{background:#fff;border-top:1px solid rgba(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom:none;color:#000!important;float:left;font-size:13px;font-weight:500;line-height:1.1;padding:12px 20px!important;text-transform:none;width:160px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li a:hover{background:rgba(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom:none;padding:12px 20px}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu ul.sub-menu li ul,.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li ul{display:none;position:absolute;top:0;left:200px;z-index:10}.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu ul.sub-menu li:hover ul,.mvp-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu li:hover ul{display:block}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a{position:relative}.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a:after,.mvp-nav-menu ul li:hover ul.sub-menu li ul.sub-menu li.menu-item-has-children a:after{border-color:transparent transparent transparent #444!important;border-style:solid;border-width:3px 0 3px 3px;content:'';position:absolute;top:14px;right:10px}#mvp-fly-wrap{overflow:hidden;position:fixed;top:0;bottom:0;left:0;-webkit-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-moz-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-ms-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);-o-transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);transform:translate3d(-370px,0,0);width:370px;height:100%;z-index:999999}.mvp-fly-but-wrap,.mvp-search-but-wrap{cursor:pointer;width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap{height:20px}#mvp-fly-wrap .mvp-fly-but-wrap{margin:15px 0}.mvp-nav-top-left .mvp-fly-but-wrap{display:none;margin-top:-10px;opacity:0;position:absolute;top:50%;left:0;height:20px}.mvp-nav-bot-left{margin:15px 0;height:20px}.mvp-search-but-wrap{position:absolute;top:60px;right:80px;width:60px;height:60px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span,.mvp-search-but-wrap span{-webkit-border-radius:2px;-moz-border-radius:2px;-ms-border-radius:2px;-o-border-radius:2px;border-radius:2px;display:block;position:absolute;left:0;-webkit-transform:rotate(0deg);-moz-transform:rotate(0deg);-ms-transform:rotate(0deg);-o-transform:rotate(0deg);transform:rotate(0deg);-webkit-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-moz-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-ms-transition:.25s ease-in-out;-o-transition:.25s ease-in-out;transition:.25s ease-in-out;height:3px}.mvp-nav-top-left .mvp-fly-but-wrap{opacity:1}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(1){top:0;width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(2),.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(3){top:8px;width:24px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap span:nth-child(4){top:16px;width:18px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(1),.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(4){top:.5px;left:50%;width:0%}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(2),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(1){-webkit-transform:rotate(45deg);-moz-transform:rotate(45deg);-ms-transform:rotate(45deg);-o-transform:rotate(45deg);transform:rotate(45deg);width:30px}.mvp-fly-but-wrap.mvp-fly-open span:nth-child(3),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(2){-webkit-transform:rotate(-45deg);-moz-transform:rotate(-45deg);-ms-transform:rotate(-45deg);-o-transform:rotate(-45deg);transform:rotate(-45deg);width:30px}.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(1),.mvp-search-but-wrap span:nth-child(2){width:60px}#mvp-fly-menu-top{width:100%;height:50px}.mvp-fly-top-out{margin-right:-100px;left:50px;width:100%}.mvp-fly-top-in{margin-right:100px}#mvp-fly-logo{margin:10px 6.25%;text-align:center;width:87.5%;height:30px}#mvp-fly-logo img{line-height:0;height:100%}.mvp-fly-but-menu{float:left;margin-left:15px;position:relative}.mvp-fly-top{background:rgba(0,0,0,.3);border-top:1px solid #fff;border-left:1px solid #fff;border-bottom:1px solid #fff;color:#fff;cursor:pointer;opacity:1;overflow:hidden;position:fixed;right:0;top:50%;-webkit-transition:all .3s;transition:all .3s;-webkit-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-moz-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-ms-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);-o-transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);transform:translate3d(100px,0,0);width:50px;height:50px;z-index:9999}.mvp-fly-top:hover{color:#000}.mvp-fly-top i{font-size:40px;line-height:100%;position:absolute;top:1px;left:12.1px}#mvp-fly-menu-wrap{overflow:hidden;position:absolute;top:50px;left:0;width:100%;height:100%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;backface-visibility:hidden;margin:20px 5.40540540541% 0;overflow:hidden;position:absolute!important;width:89.1891891892%;max-height:65%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul{float:left;position:relative;width:100%}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li{border-top:1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.1);cursor:pointer;float:left;position:relative;width:100%;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:rgba(0,0,0,0)}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li:first-child{border-top:none;margin-top:-14px}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li ul li:first-child{margin-top:0}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li a{color:#fff;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:1;padding:14px 0;text-transform:uppercase}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li.menu-item-has-children:after{content:'+';font-family:'Open Sans',sans-serif;font-size:32px;font-weight:700;position:absolute;right:0;top:7px}nav.mvp-fly-nav-menu ul li ul.sub-menu{border-top:1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.1);display:none;float:left;padding-left:6.66666666666%;width:93.333333333%}.mvp-fly-fade{background:#000;cursor:pointer;opacity:0;width:100%;position:fixed;top:0;left:0;z-index:99999}#mvp-fly-soc-wrap{margin:0 5.40540540541%;position:absolute;bottom:20px;left:0;text-align:center;width:89.1891891892%}span.mvp-fly-soc-head{display:inline-block;font-size:.7rem;font-weight:400;line-height:1;margin-bottom:15px;text-transform:uppercase}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list{text-align:center;width:100%}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li{display:inline-block}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li a{background:rgba(255,255,255,.15);-webkit-border-radius:50%;-moz-border-radius:50%;-ms-border-radius:50%;-o-border-radius:50%;border-radius:50%;color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:14px;line-height:1;margin-left:2px;padding-top:9px;text-align:center;width:32px;height:23px}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li:first-child a{margin-left:0}ul.mvp-fly-soc-list li a:hover{font-size:16px;padding-top:8px;height:24px}#mvp-feat1-wrap{background:#fff;margin-bottom:60px;width:100%}.mvp-cat-date-wrap{margin-bottom:7px;width:100%}span.mvp-cd-cat,span.mvp-cd-date{color:#777;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:.7rem;line-height:1}span.mvp-cd-cat{font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase}span.mvp-cd-date{font-weight:400;margin-left:5px}span.mvp-cd-date:before{content:"/";margin-right:5px}.mvp-feat1-list-cont:hover .mvp-feat1-list-text h2{opacity:.6}.mvp-feat1-list-wrap,.mvp-feat1-list,.mvp-feat1-list-head-wrap,ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts{width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-head-wrap{margin-bottom:15px}ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts{text-align:center}ul.mvp-feat1-list-buts li{display:inline-block}span.mvp-feat1-list-but{color:#aaa;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;font-size:1.1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;text-transform:uppercase;-webkit-transform:skewX(-15deg);-moz-transform:skewX(-15deg);-ms-transform:skewX(-15deg);-o-transform:skewX(-15deg);transform:skewX(-15deg)}span.mvp-feat1-list-but:hover{color:#000}.mvp-feat1-list-cont{margin-top:15px;width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list a:first-child .mvp-feat1-list-cont{margin-top:0}.mvp-feat1-list-out{float:right;margin-left:-95px;width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-in{margin-left:95px}.mvp-feat1-list-img{-webkit-backface-visibility:hidden;background:#000;line-height:0;margin-right:15px;overflow:hidden;width:80px}.mvp-feat1-list-cont:hover .mvp-feat1-list-img img{opacity:.8}.mvp-feat1-list-text{width:100%}.mvp-feat1-list-text h2{color:#222;float:left;font-size:1rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1.2;width:100%}#mvp-feat2-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-feat2-wrap{margin-bottom:60px}#mvp-feat3-wrap{margin-bottom:60px;width:100%}#mvp-feat4-wrap{background:#000;margin-bottom:100px;max-height:432px;width:100%}#mvp-feat5-wrap{margin:0 0 60px;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-wrap{background:#000;margin:0 0 60px;overflow:hidden;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-main{width:100%}#mvp-feat6-img{line-height:0;width:66.666666%}#mvp-feat6-img:after{content:'';background-image:-moz-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-ms-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-o-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-webkit-linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);background-image:-webkit-gradient(linear,middle right,middle left,from(rgba(0,0,0,0)),to(rgba(0,0,0,1)));background-image:linear-gradient(to left,rgba(0,0,0,0) 0,rgba(0,0,0,.5) 50%,rgba(0,0,0,1) 100%);position:absolute;left:0;top:0;width:50%;height:100%}#mvp-feat6-main:hover #mvp-feat6-img img{opacity:.8}#mvp-feat6-text{position:absolute;left:50px;top:50px;width:45%}#mvp-feat6-text h2{color:#fff;float:left;font-size:3.5rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1;width:100%}#mvp-feat6-text p{color:#fff;float:left;font-size:1.15rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.4;margin-top:20px;width:100%}#mvp-main-body-wrap{background:#fff;padding-bottom:60px;width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap{margin-bottom:60px}.mvp-widget-home-head{float:left;position:relative;width:100%}h4.mvp-widget-home-title{float:left;margin-bottom:20px;position:relative;text-align:center;width:100%}h4.mvp-widget-home-title:before{content:'';background:#555;display:inline-block;position:absolute;left:0;bottom:50%;width:100%;height:1px;z-index:0}span.mvp-widget-home-title{color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:1.1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;position:relative;text-transform:uppercase;transform:skewX(-15deg);z-index:1}#mvp-side-wrap{font-size:.9rem;margin-left:60px;width:320px}.mvp-side-widget{float:left;margin-top:30px;width:100%}.mvp-side-widget:first-child{margin-top:0}.mvp-widget-tab-wrap{width:100%}#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:first-child .mvp-flex-col,#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:nth-child(2n+3) .mvp-flex-col{margin-left:0}#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:first-child .mvp-flex-col-noad,#mvp-home-widget-wrap a:nth-child(3n+4) .mvp-flex-col-noad{margin-left:0!important}#wp-calendar{width:100%}#wp-calendar caption{text-align:right;color:#333;font-size:12px;margin-bottom:15px}#wp-calendar thead{font-size:10px}#wp-calendar thead th{padding-bottom:10px}#wp-calendar tbody{color:#aaa}#wp-calendar tbody td{background:#f5f5f5;border:1px solid #fff;text-align:center;padding:8px}#wp-calendar tbody td:hover{background:#fff}#wp-calendar tfoot #next{font-size:10px;text-transform:uppercase;text-align:right}#wp-calendar tfoot #prev{font-size:10px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-top:10px}#mvp-side-wrap #searchform input,#mvp-home-widget-wrap #searchform input{background:#fff;border:1px solid #ddd;-webkit-border-radius:3px;-moz-border-radius:3px;-ms-border-radius:3px;-o-border-radius:3px;border-radius:3px;color:#999;font-size:16px;padding:5px 5%;height:16px;width:88%}#mvp-article-wrap,#mvp-article-cont{width:100%}#mvp-article-wrap{float:left;position:relative}#mvp-post-main{margin:10px 0 60px;width:100%}#mvp-post-head{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}h3.mvp-post-cat{margin-bottom:10px;width:100%}span.mvp-post-cat{color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-size:1rem;font-weight:700;line-height:1;padding:5px 13px;text-transform:uppercase;-webkit-transform:skewX(-15deg);-moz-transform:skewX(-15deg);-ms-transform:skewX(-15deg);-o-transform:skewX(-15deg);transform:skewX(-15deg)}h1.mvp-post-title{color:#000;font-family:'Oswald',sans-serif;font-size:3.5rem;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:-.02em;line-height:1.1;margin-right:20%;width:80%}#mvp-post-content h1.mvp-post-title{font-size:2.9rem;margin-right:0;width:100%}.mvp-author-info-wrap{width:100%}.mvp-author-info-wrap{margin-top:12px}#mvp-content-wrap .mvp-author-info-wrap{margin:0 0 20px}.mvp-author-info-thumb{line-height:0;width:46px}.mvp-author-info-thumb img{border:2px solid #ddd;-webkit-border-radius:50%;-moz-border-radius:50%;-ms-border-radius:50%;-o-border-radius:50%;border-radius:50%;overflow:hidden}.mvp-author-info-text{color:#999;display:inline-block;float:left;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:1;margin:8px 0 0 15px}.mvp-author-info-text p{display:inline-block}.mvp-author-info-text a{color:#000!important;font-weight:700}.mvp-author-info-text a:hover{opacity:.6}.mvp-post-date{font-weight:500}.mvp-author-info-name{clear:both;margin-top:5px}.mvp-post-main-out{margin-right:-380px;width:100%}.mvp-post-main-in{margin-right:380px}#mvp-post-content{font-family:'Roboto',sans-serif;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-img{line-height:0;margin-bottom:30px;text-align:center;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide{background:#000;margin-bottom:30px;overflow:hidden;width:100%;max-height:720px}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide #mvp-post-feat-img{margin-bottom:0}#mvp-post-feat-img-wide #mvp-post-feat-img img{opacity:.4;width:100%}#mvp-post-feat-text-wrap{position:absolute;left:0;bottom:30%;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed-wrap{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed-cont{width:100%}#mvp-video-embed{overflow:hidden;padding-bottom:56.25%;position:relative;text-align:center;width:100%;height:0}#mvp-video-embed-wrap{margin-bottom:30px;width:100%}#mvp-video-embed iframe,#mvp-video-embed 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